The effects of addiction are so many. Most
addicts don't really know what it's like for those who love them & those
who live with them.
I have recently found out I was married to & living with an addict, I
thought he was in recovery & I never really understood what it would be
like to be the support person. Now after many years of marriage & him
pulling away (due to shame & then disrespect) he has finally made the
decision to be honest about his problems, which is great. However, now I am
left reliving my entire life & trying to figure out how much he loved me, how
much should have been different if he had made better choices sooner.
And my own insecurities about being unloved have come true. For many years I
blinded myself to the full truth of how little he loved me. I celebrated every
tiny step forward, when in reality those tiny steps were used to manipulate me,
to exhaust me so I wouldn't keep fighting for a better life. Unfortunately this
is the truth of life with an addict, especially one who refuses to admit the
problem & get help.
For those of you out there who love an addict & want the best for them,
sometimes you have to let them go for things to change.
Sometimes they need to hit rock bottom. Other times the best thing is for them
to know that you are there waiting for them.
The most important thing for those of us who love an addict, is that we take
care of ourself first.
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