Light, Shadow & Darkness

 

In the last few years I’ve found myself looking toward an alternative belief than what I was taught as a child. I lean more toward natural magick & a pantheon of deities than a single God. But one thing that seems to be talked about in the pagan or magick circles is they think “love & light” is weakness or somehow less than. It makes me wonder how many that claim to have a “dark little heart” really know what that is? Have they ever felt the overwhelming desire to kill someone? Have they had psychotic episodes & been a danger to themselves & others? If they have is that why they think they have a dark heart? And if they haven’t suffer that, do they truly know what darkness is? 

I have been through those things, which is why I lean toward the light. I feel like there is too much darkness in the world already & sometimes it threatens to swallow me up, but I can’t let it as that would hurt myself & my family too much. 

I believe anthropologically most of us have an instinct to fear the true darkness, as when our ancestors were living in caves & small villages the darkness outside contained predators & death. 

For me Light is Life. 

Not that I believe darkness shouldn’t exist. It has its purpose, just as much as the light. When in a safe place, darkness can help us relax & rest. It much easier to rest in a dark, womb like space, all bundled up & safe.  

As does Shadow. 

Shadow is where the light & dark meet. Those grey areas where nothing is clear or as it seems. Shadow work where you face your fears & examine deep into yourself is truly necessary for the spirit to heal & grow. Like a seed planted in the soil. It might think it is left in the dark, but really it is only under a shadow as the warm of the light penetrating into the ground will help it grow. Some people fear Shadow work, because it can mean dealing with their pain & humans shy away from pain. 

I’m learning to love the Light, work with Shadow, & not fear the Dark

My birthday

 Today is my birthday, and I’m happy to be here and be a year older. 

You see I shouldn’t have survived pregnancy. 

My twin didn’t. 

“Why?” I hear you ask. My mother’s blood is A- & my father’s (& mine) is A+. 

Those in medical fields might know that a pregnancy like this causes the mother to develop antibiotics that kill off any subsequent babies. 

I’m a second born child, my mother had my sister 9 years before me & lost a baby before becoming pregnant with me. 

“But these days women with negative blood just had antiD injections” I hear you say... yes they do & I thought my mother had them with me, but it turns out she didn’t know about the antibody issue until after I was born! 

In a post natal appointment with her doctor he asked about her blood group & recommended antiD for subsequent pregnancies. 

So I’m lucky to be here, most babies would have died in utero. 

My twin did, & I miss them. 

Especially at this time of year. 

But like the Gemini twins I look forward to the time when we will be united again. In spirit & riding the wind together.