Tired.

I’m tired. Tired of trying to raise good kids, tired of trying to be a good wife, tired of trying to be a good person. I’m tired of life. Does anyone else feel like this? Over this past year I’ve separated from my husband, found out about his addiction, gotten counseling, moved back together, found out more about stuff he did in secret, had another child start school, 2 eldest children move schools (due to bullying & lack of teacher input), lost most of my friends, distanced myself from other toxic friendships... the list goes on. I’m tired of all this crap. I’m a totally messed up person now who has to try & cope with PTSD & hope that there will be someone around who can help me pick up the pieces. But there isn’t. And I have 5 children that need me every single day. And a clingy, immature husband who really needs someone to teach him how to be an adult, but I’m not his mum & I refuse to keep being in a position where I need to raise him too.

I’m so tired...

Where does the time go?

I’ve realised it’s been about a year since I last posted here. So much has happened since then! Rehab & healing, a relative with a cancer diagnosis, coming & going of friends old & new. It feels like the years are going way too quickly & that life is constantly getting harder. But we still continue on.